Current Ramblings
Friday, October 03, 2003
Adulthood is weird. I realize it's in your 20s that you're supposed to start reaching the culmination of all you've worked through your teenage years for, all the interests and hobbies and talents you cultivated. I'm 25, and I both feel like I've wasted a lot and accomplished a great deal. I still work retail, and I don't make a lot of money, but I kinda enjoy retail and I'm working in what's really my ideal store. And honestly, most of the staff is older than me, so it's not like I'm especially pathetic in context or anything. I'm involved in some insane cool stuff as far as Transformers go, and while it boggles my mind sometimes, I realize there's no reason why I shouldn't have accomplished all that at this point. I don't feel like I'm somehow entitled to anything I've gotten, and if I really think about it there's nothing I've done that anybody else couldn't do if they followed my footsteps. But while it's overwhelming sometimes, it feels right. It feels like the sort of thing that being a fan from teenage years into adulthood should eventually lead to. I don't consider myself an ambitious person in any way, but I don't want to stagnate, and I will work for the things I want. I want to keep moving forward so I don't feel like I've been wasting my time, but I don't do it for the sake of a big payoff. I'm nagged occasionally by the feeling that I should be working toward something more important than Transformers, but I think that's just a remnant of the days when nobody gave Fuck #1 about TFs. Now they're a big deal, and it feels a little more worthwhile. It's not a dead-end; I think this fandom and Transformers as a whole have a real future.
That's enough of that. Time for Armada.
posted@5:58 PM by:Trixter: 0 comments